Valentines Day is a nice holiday where people can come together and celebrate their love and admirations of each other. That is how I see it for the most part, but I have always celebrated it differently than most other ladies out there. I am not really that “traditional” either. I will give you examples on that in a minute. I will speak about Valentine’s Day in the eyes of a tomboy and to help the guys out in how to treat the tomboy in their life during this holiday.
Tomboys are not regular ladies even as an adult. Guys already have a tough time understanding women anyway, but we can really throw them a curveball…literally and figuratively speaking. We are easy going and not as difficult to please as you may think. We are the hunting/fishing buddy you never had in a woman’s body. We love doing the same things you like to do, but only physiologically being a woman. But take note, the only way a tomboy will put you in the dog house is if you go hunting or fishing or the game without her when she wants to go, and you ditch her at home without further discussion. Then it’s hell on Earth. We can understand a little guy time and we understand the mancave rules, but tell us first. But, for me and my husband, Rusty, I get to enter the mancave on a regular basis. I don’t have to whine and cry that my husband is never home since he is always at the hunting club. Why? Because I’m there, and life sucks when I am not there which is rare. If I stay home from hunting it’s because I am sick or I have an author event I can’t miss. He calls me an hour later after he gets there to tell me he misses me and it’s boring without me.
A little bit of background on tomboys before we start off for those ‘not in the know’. Everyone knows what we are, but they don’t know as much about how we think. We are ladies when we have to be, but most of the time we’re not. For me, being a lady can be a bit of a challenge. Contrary to what people would think, we don’t know as much about our own sex as maybe we should. What I mean is, don’t ask me what a lady means when she says something or ask me to explain them because I don’t know. I have to refer you to Rachel Thompson for that one. I don’t know if this is because of a rift between us and ‘girly-girls’ that occurs as young as elementary school. Girly-girls are what we call the pink loving, lacey, cheerleader type girl that screams at the sight of a bug, lizard, or any living thing. They freak out when they get a smudge on them anywhere. Most of the time tomboys and girly-girls don’t get along. As for why, I don’t know. I’ve never been able to figure that one out either.
There are different types of tomboys. Some of us ‘grow out of it’ and cross over to girly-girldom. Some of us don’t. Some of us can be girly and also get dirty when they want to or need to. Some of us are hardcore and try to avoid wearing a dress whenever we can and are also the ones who don’t grow out of it. For me, I fall in the hardcore group.
With that said, I have certain feelings about Valentine’s Day. Of course, just like anyone, a tomboy would like to be treated special on that day. Who wouldn’t? Who doesn’t like to be treated special? But, in my case, you don’t have to stress out or go overboard. If my significant other doesn’t come up with the roses, chocolate, and silver spoon dinner at the stroke of midnighton February 14th my life isn’t over, and he isn’t going to end up on the couch or the doghouse for the next month and a half. Our relationship isn’t over either. Maybe we could do something on a different day since everyone else is out and about on that day. We can keep it simple. As long as we do something together with the kind thought that’s fine with me. That’s what really counts, not the price tag.
I have always thought that Valentine’s Day was more of a woman’s holiday. Most of the gifts and color coordination are centered around women. The dead giveaway for me is the color pink. Ugh. I can’t stand pink. I have never liked this color, and most tomboys don’t. Pink only looks good on something in nature not on clothes and décor. I can roll with red or maybe white, but white stands a good chance of getting soiled or stained since I like to get dirty. I may be female physiologically, but in other ways not so much.
Sometimes I feel like it can get out of hand or be grossly overrated. We have our birthday, anniversary, and maybe Mother’s Day for the guys in our life to worry about already. Let’s also add Christmas. A small thought would count for me on Valentine’s Day since some of the other days gifts may get more elaborate, but it’s not required. Another thing, why does everything seem to cost so much? Apart from diamonds, nothing else seems to last. You can pay a lot of money for things that don’t last no more than a week. The roses die; I eat all the chocolate, and that expensive dinner was over when we left. Also, things can horribly awry. If the woman was unhappy with the outcome of the evening or because it wasn’t the right color or style, it’s game over in some cases. It’s the thought that counts. I’ve seen hissy-fits about this kind of stuff for myself in public, and felt bad for the guy since the wife/girlfriend was making a scene and embarrassing him in front of God and everybody. You could tell he really tried, and now he wished the ground would swallow him. I don’t get it. What did he do? You are acting like he just killed your mom, but it was because the diamond wasn’t big enough. Puh-lease! Grow up! If my husband got me something pink after he has known me for eight years I would simply say, “That’s not funny!” He would do it to tease me and I know that because we, um, talk. But, if we had known each other a couple months and he didn’t know what I liked and didn’t ask anyone, I would say very nicely, “This is really nice and thank you, but next time please don’t get me pink.” End of discussion. No scene. No hissy fit.
I’ll talk a little bit more of why I don’t really like the traditional gifts as much or like doing traditional things. Besides of the reasons of not lasting or they’re expensive, there are reasons why I don’t care much for care much for the traditional gifts. I will talk more about them in turn.
I guess we can start of with roses. Roses come in all types and colors. They’re pretty. When you buy them, the thorns are cut off at least. When you buy roses they aren’t in full bloom, they are maybe at half bloom or just buds. Roses are delicate and they fade away in a few days or at week at the most. Roses are very expensive as well. If someone wanted to give me roses for Valentine’s Day why don’t they just get me a rose bush instead? That way I can get roses every year and it doesn’t cost so much. They won’t bloom at Valentine’s Day, but I would remember it every year when it blooms where it came from. When you buy roses, they don’t smell as sweet as the full bloom roses on a bush. The stuff they spray on them to make them last diminishes the scent. My mother and other family members would always have rose bushes or I’ve been around wild running roses. A big bush can put out two dozen roses or the wild roses can put out hundreds. Maybe 95% of people don’t notice the acrylic spray, but I do. I have a very sensitive sniffer, and I can smell that stuff they put on it. What does it smell like to me? It smells like hairspray. So I smell a light rose scent drowned in hairspray, so not my idea of pleasant aroma. I also learned a little bit about floral design from my aunt who went to school to be a florist, and my mother dabbled with it for a short time. If you want to get me roses don’t shop at 1-800-FLOWERS, just go to the nursery. I would appreciate it more and it is a gift that keeps on giving. Also, I know that flowers have a color code to mean different things. This can get complicated. Why? Beats me. I don’t even pay attention to all the codes and stuff. I don’t even know what they mean. I have had women correct me on this like if I got something for my mother, and some of the stuff they say is just plain silly. I found something I liked so I wanted it. No color coordination code, please. I’ll just put my message on the card.
To be continued…